you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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