So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
