he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
