I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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