I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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