ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
