The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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