plz talk dirty to me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
