tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
