How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
