dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
