i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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