escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
