My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
