Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
