I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
