okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Randomize
