yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
