I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
