Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
