i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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