we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
