Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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