I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
