What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
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