wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
