Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
