1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
