Dual....:-)
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
