We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
