Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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