I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize