whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
