This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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