just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
