I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
