but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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