I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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