Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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