i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
