I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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