I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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