He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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