She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
