It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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