i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
