I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
