I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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