I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
