She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
