she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
