I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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