I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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